he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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