She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
