Who wears a wallet chain?!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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