lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
