i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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