new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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