But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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