I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
porn star boner night. come get it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
