I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
