I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
