He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
