I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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