Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
