I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize