The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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