I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
my liver is dry heaving
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
