I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Houston, we have a squirter
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
