i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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