Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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