Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize