Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
