Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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