why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I love you.
Bad choice
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize