I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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