I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I am naked and annoyed.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
