You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
