This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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