I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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