and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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