let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
