So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
