This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
