i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
