Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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