ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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