You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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