the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
