Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
