I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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