I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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