Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
