i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
