i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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