"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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