she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
