I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
