I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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