i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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