Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
