But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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