It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
