I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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