I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
