Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
