Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
