Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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