summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
