so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
