flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize