you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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