He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Alive.
So much puke
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
